


Barrel Hider

by sklauda1



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 11:56:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16872507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sklauda1/pseuds/sklauda1
Summary: Before Oakenshield and his men met Bilbo, they asked another halfling rogue to aid them in defeating Smaug. I wrote this based on Cumberbatch's interpretation of Smaug and not the book.





	Barrel Hider

Vyra did not know what an Arkenstone was. She did not need to. She only needed to know that it was blue and a band of merry dwarves were willing to pay for it with the purest gold to come out of a lonely mountain. Having no foes to battle as she made her way to the center of the keep, she thought it possible the mountain was abandoned. It was a fleeting thought as she was not in her element in the keep. The dwarves had found her in a tavern far away. She would not have taken the job and traveled with the men had they not proven to be jolly company and have as much of a thirst for strong wine as she. These were not dwarves she was used to. She liked these dwarves better.

They had gotten her good and drunk before revealing their proposition. No lowly halfling could defeat a dragon but to steal was second nature to her. And she had not left the city unprepared. Her connections to the black market provided her with two essential tools for her quest. The first was a cloak rendering her invisible in the darkness. It was a mere imitation of the original only using the thinnest layers of fabric to hide the wearer. The second was an armful of a single spell. A spell that transported its user from one hiding spot to another should the right space be available. It was called Basket Trick. The merchant could not sell them to his customers. They were clearly counterfeit anyway. Vyra was not sure how the spell would work but she would need it if she had any chance of fulfilling the dwarven contract.

Vyra came out in the middle of the towering ebony cavern in what she knew was the center of the Kingdom. Many of the inner portcullises and alcoves had caved in but had once been symmetrical and a wonder of Middle Earth. Now, the lair was merely a fractured cup which held the lost treasure of the Kingdom under the Mountain. Mounds of gold coins, treasure chests, shields, helmets, and urns littered between the sands of riches reflected the low light shining in, illuminating the vast space to angelic proportions. Vyra had not seen such amounts of gold in her wildest dreams.

She immediately noticed the Arkenstone in the middle of the tallest pile of gold situated at the nucleus of the wealth, several yards away. Mounds of golden objects were stacked between her and the orb she had been hired to steal without waking the dragon underneath. "Yeah, that's completely possible. No problem."

A shimmering avalanche of coin fell with the movement of every piece of treasure. She ventured out stealthily, making a mental note every few seconds of where the Arkenstone was. She prayed it had not buried itself among the quicksand of coins before she reached the center. She tripped on top of the first mound, setting off a great reaction. Gold cascaded like rolling waves. Sliding, making the sound of endless riches and revealing that of which dwarves dreaded in their dreams. It was just an eye yet it was the size of a warrior’s trusted shield. The eye sat in the middle of a large head the color of the dirtiest coins. Stalactite scales pointed back and out through the coins. All was silent except for the distant falling of gold completing its attempt to settle. Vyra yearned for silence before a diamond slit surrounded by an orange iris that faded into white crept out from under the piles. A second eyelid licked away the coins. Vyra jumped into a nearby barrel to hide in, making a great deal of noise. The face under the gold knew her presence.

As if a rooster had crowed an hour early, the reptilian colossus slowly arose, revealing his true size. He had a snake-like muzzle covered in leathery hide and more spines on his chin followed by ancient rivers of scars. His flared nostrils reflected the triangular shape of his brows. Vyra could only see his head through the hole in the barrel. “Wicked looking indeed,” she thought. “And I bet better armor than all this gold could ever buy.”

The great Smaug was intrigued at another game of Kill the Dwarf. It had been awhile. He sniffed the air, gaining a first impression of his new guest. He could not see her but knew her small body was nearby. 

He took in a deep sample of the aroma his eager nose brought in and bared his teeth. "Well…" Smaug began, trying to locate Vyra in his vast tower. His voice was like smoke billowing out of crushed chimneys above the creaking staircase to Hell. A chill formed in Vyra's esophagus and cascaded to the pit of her stomach. "…thief...”

“Well that's the dragon calling the lizard brown,” Vyra mumbled to herself before clamping her hand over her big mouth.

Smaug's neck slithered while his body followed with the rest of him. "I ssssmellll you. I. hear. your. breathhhhh. I feeeeel your air."

Vyra held her breath and puffed out her cheeks. Vyra one, Smaug zero.

His neck encircled her. "Where. are. you?" There was a hint of frustration in his voice. He was close and narrowing in on the opening of the barrel. “Where. are. you. hiding?”

Vyra chanted the black market teleportation spell to herself and hoped for the best. She found herself closer to the center of the gleaming yellow mountain with her leg in a pot. “Thank the gods the spell did not put my whole body in there,” She sighed to herself before limping behind the nearest column of stone.

Upon losing the scent of his trespassing prey, Smaug grumbled. He knew about the magic of the world but this was no spell of a dwarf. He began to walk among his riches "Hiding in the shadows, are we? Not a proper introduction.” Vyra had no choice but to break the pot, alerting the predator to her whereabouts. As his snout once again drew closer to Vyra, she activated another spell. This time, she found herself inside one of the mighty halls surrounding the lair in a large urn. She managed to jump out without tipping it over and ran. Smaug followed her with his nose, more frustrated at her magic. “You are quick for something so small. But I am quicker.” Vyra’s endurance was giving out. Her lungs heaved, easily audible to a dragon. Smaug stepped closer as she pressed herself against the opposite side of a pillar. She had to save the rest of her spells for once she was in real trouble. "You cannot hide from me." Smaug growled.

"Oh, I'm not hiding,” Vyra finally spoke up. “I'm protecting myself."

"Foolish,” Smaug snickered. “You think mere stone can save your life?"

"No, but I know you need to be careful. Destroy the walls, destroy us both and all the gold. I don't think either of us wants that."

"But flame is free to wander. My whisper has seared less tender spoils and your magic is useless if you are too busy burning to utter the words."

In the back of her mind, Vyra knew this. Never before had she regretted a job so much. She would have left then and there, telling the dwarves where they could stick their Arkenstone, but there was no means of escape from her vantage point. She tried to run, taking cover behind each pillar and letting her cloak mask her movements, but the thin material snagged on a sharp stone, tearing itself off of her instantly and making her visible. She was out in the open and staring up at the maw of more danger than she had even been in.

"There you are." He stomped over to her and took his time perusing her attributes. His fangs could bite through the head of a troll without slowing through the bones. They overlapped like the teeth of a great white shark but overshadowed the grin of a megalodon. "I know the smell and taste of dwarf. No one better." Vyra heard his mouth watering through his words as if he could taste dwarf at the mention of their succulent bodies. “You are no dwarf. So do tell me, where do you call home and what do you call your kind?”

"I don’t come from anywhere in particular.” Vyra shrugged. “I’m just a poor little orphan, but I’m a nimble one so I’ve got that going for me."

“Well then, nimble orphan, I know you’ve come for the Arkenstone, what those filthy dwarves have set out to retrieve once more. Where are those that brought you here to die?”

“Outside,” Vyra shivered. “But they didn’t seem too keen on talking to you. Apparently you all have some history. None of my business really.”

"You are a pawn of the dwarf Oakenshield. He is willing to let you suffer for his gain. He is a coward, unworthy of his bloodline even for a greedy dwarf."

"But he pays well."

"And whose gold did the Usurper promise to you? I will not part with a single coin. Not one piece of it."

“Well, that’s the thing. They all say that and then off I go with their stuff. Their gold. Their jewels. Their horses. Their wives. The usual things.”

"Try as you will to swindle me, orphan. My teeth are swords. My claws are spears."

"Your ego is vast," Vyra instinctively quipped.

"What did you say?"

"I said an eagle flew past." She pointed up at the holes at the top of the cavern. “Didn’t you see it?”

“I know not your kind but I know the smell of a thief and a liar.”

Vyra giggled. “You’re good at this game.”

“And you are a terrible liar at that.” Smaug continued.

“Sad, I’ve had years of practice.”

Smaug growled, his patience weakening. “Your tongue betrays you, thief, and you will not be spared. My wings are a hurricane!"

“Then I just have to wait for the eye of the storm.” She uttered to herself.

"Oakenshield will not acknowledge the obliteration of his people. I crushed them under my talons. I devoured his kin and keep. Their tapestries fell as cinders. Their ancient tomes lay as ash. Their echoing songs of feast silenced,” Smaug snarled. “Their history told by none."

"You're mean."

"I am the Deus of this realm. No dwarf nor thief nor armies of men will slow my storm. The legendaries of the epics will have the legacies of slaves compared to the destruction I shall lay upon this world." Smaug looked down at Vyra, his muzzle getting one final close sniff. “For now, I shall see if nimble orphan tastes as delectable as the dwarves they serve."

Vyra had a witty retort in her head somewhere but there was no time for it to come out of her lips. Smaug was taking in a big breath and she knew whatever came after that would be painful and cause much death. She chanted another spell and ended up in a roomy vase. Unfortunately, it was under several feet of coins. Smaug violently searched for her, whipping his tail around and knocking mounds of coins against the walls. “Show yourself.” Another whip of his tail revealed her and she made a run for it, zig-zagging behind whatever pillars crossed her path. Smaug’s meaty claws dug into the gold where she stood. He would have been happy to grab her or squish her, but when he lifted his hand, she was gone. He roared in ire. Luck was at Vyra’s feet for she was at the top of the tower, writhing out of another barrel that had found its way up. There was no looking back for Vyra. She bolted toward the entrance, hoping her feet would carry her the same way she came in. Smaug let out one more puff of blaze and laughed loudly. "Dwarves seeking vengeance condemn their lineage to forsaken dust!"

The dwarves did not expect the halfling to come out alive, let alone so soon. They knew she did not have the Arkenstone. After a collective groan, they saddled their horses and carts and began their journey home before Vyra could get up and dust herself off. As the dwarves rode out of her sight, Vyra reached into her pocket and with a smile pulled out a single gold coin. Vyra two, Smaug zero.


End file.
